Sham On!

China Sleep

2010-09-10T08:31:00.000-07:00

When do people in China sleep? I can't figure it out. They are everywhere. The only time I feel alone is in my apartment, except even then I'm not really alone. The sounds of people yelling, screaming, laughing, stomping fill the apartment. Kelly N and I decided to watch a movie one night in our little apartment living room. As she was figuring out the DVD player I looked out the window to see our neighbors basically watching us for entertainment. Seriously, I was just waiting for them to whip out the popcorn. But after a quick stare down, they departed and I closed our curtains.

Everywhere I go though, no matter the time, people seem to be bustling. There's this market thing in our little town that doesn't even open until the sun goes down. Then when I wake up (which due to the loud school bell and construction outside my window seems to be about 6-6:30 am) people are out and about. I've been going running around the track a lot. Then, I will meet someone and tell them I'm the knew Jiàoshī and they inform me that they have been watching me run. Kelly N. met a fellow teacher (Chinese) the other day, and she said she saw the other foreigner running around the track. They apparently had been watching me, and were surprised at a Westerner with so much energy.

A lot of our students will speak to us. But quite frequently, they will run up, say hello, cover their mouth, then jolt away both awkwardly and bashfully. I met a student in the Kodak shop who couldn't believe I was her teacher. She was so excited, but told me she was very nervous. I was the first foreigner she'd met, and talked to.

On another note, China has an overactive horn problem. People honk all the time. They honk to say hello. They honk so they don't hit you. They honk when passing. They honk when they think they might pass. They honk when you cross the street. They honk when they think that maybe you're thinking about crossing the street. It seems like it would be ineffective, and perhaps it is, yet I see no wrecks. They are insanely talented at being awful drivers. I don't think you could survive here unless you were a ridiculously bad driver.

Darn you, eHarmony!

2010-05-27T17:09:00.000-07:00

My brother is getting married to one of the sweetest girls I know in August. I'm pretty excited. I am pretty sure the are going to be quite the power couple, like the next Brad and Angelina...except everyone will adore them, not just the half dozen kids they adopt.

In the meantime, as part of the groom's family, we are busy planning the rehearsal dinner. Well, it's mostly my mom planning, but I chime in from time to time. But as the "tech savy" child in the family (which does not say much, because I'm actually quite computer incompetent) I have been given the glorious task of creating a rehearsal dinner video of the future bride and groom. I want it to be fun, yet romantic, but mostly flirty fun. While I am a romancer, I recently watched a wedding video filled with nothing but the most mushy gushy 80s love ballad sounding songs, including one of my favorites "Beauty in the Beast."

In the mean time, my song selection will be a little more up tempo ideally. I was perusing through a bundle of songs, ranging from some humorous more recent popish songs, to one of my favorites "This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)" by Natalie Cole. Then my head immediately drifted to eHarmony. Perhaps this song would be fitting if I suddenly shifted the video to clips of Drew and Ash talking about some internet love connection (which did not occur). What a fun song...ruined by a dating service commercial. Darn you, eHarmony, darn you!

Futuristic Love Song

2010-04-21T20:38:00.000-07:00

So the title of this post has absolutely nothing to do with the post itself, other than the word "futuristic" I suppose. But honestly, I thought the word future in my head, and now I can't get Justin Timberlake's "Futuristic Love Song" out of my head. Except my roommate just pointed out that I have been singing it wrong. Apparently it's "Future Sex Love Sounds." Well, thanks JT for ruining my innocence.

But now, the real point of this post. I graduate in 16 days, and tomorrow marks my last day of classes as a Clemson undergrad. It's so wild to think of everything that has happened since I've been here, and even wilder to think of what the future holds.

So here are my current options. Number one is currently the most probable and the thing I feel most called to do, BUT there are other options still. And the idea that I don't actually know what I'm doing excites me. It's been nice to finally achieve some contentment in the unknown, and trusting that God will lead me in the right way. So yeah...here's that list:

1. teach English in China (and find ways to share Jesus while I'm there)
2. work then travel to New Zealand with Lauren in January for an unknown period of time
3. Go on Survivor (or the Amazing Race). How baller would that be? That show is so freakin' awesome, I would probably get/stay tan, AND I'm sure my friends and family would find it amusing to tune in every week to watch me live on an island and perform ridiculous challenges.
4. work and start nursing school in January instead of the fall. (This is my least favorite option, and the least probably. Yes, even less probable than me going on Survivor.)

Public Airwaves Beware.

2009-09-06T13:51:00.000-07:00

Friday I went live on the air for a friend's radio show. That's right folks, yours truly was broadcast live on the airwaves via the Clemson radio station that no one listens too. And I know what you're thinking...what a crackhead?? Who in their right mind would give this girl a microphone and allow her to speak LIVE.

I remember one of my first "live" speaking experiences. No, it wasn't on the airwaves, but it was televised via our local tv station as I spoke in front of the church. I don't remember much from that day, except for two highlights.

1. I either tripped up or down the stage over a microphone cord. This should come as no surprise, as I am the epitome of grace. I'm sure that moment made mom and dad real proud.

2. I made many really awkward statements that are not socially acceptable to make to a congregation full of old southern baptists. ( I would recap but I'd rather not relive it...Jamie Williams could probably share stories though.)

But this isn't actually about my old church speakin' days...it's about my most recent moment of fame. I was asked to discuss the medical field and health care, since apparently he though I would be an insightful biology student with ER experience.

I'm pretty sure it was an epic fail.

Let me also preface by saying that one of the other gentleman I was on air with is a very conservative Christian. While I too am a believer, life in the ER has made me talk about awkward subjects slightly more freely than others.

So here I am on the air. I've got these rockin' headphones with a very official looking microphone and we start discussing. Much of this is a blur, but let me give you a taste of the awkward stories I shared.

1. There is a lack of sex education and health education. Direct quotes, "Parents these days are idiots. Hmm...my eight year old has a fever of 99.0. I think I should refrain from giving them tylenol and rush them to the emergency room, where a doctor will then prescribe him children's motrin. Give me a break parents...gain some common sense!" This was followed by a statement by the guy doing the radio show "The opinions and beliefs do not express the views of this radio show."

2. Yet again, I was talking about health education as a fail. "When I was a sophomore in highschool they made us take health class. The only thing I remember learning was that I was going to hit puberty and have a period and get bigger boobs. Soo...is that what has been happening all these years?" The other people on the show were both guys...they looked at me a little disgusted. Clearly I need to gain a filter.

3. Yet another slightly offensive comment directed at people that are uneducated about healthcare...which I do in fact feel bad about. (I believe school and government are a fail for not helping people learn a little more about their own bodies.) "We have 18-year old idiots waltz in on their cell phones claiming they are having heart attacks. Really?? Have you ever heard of heart-burn and indigestion. Morons." This was yet again followed by a disclaimer.

Apparently all of my statements elicit disclaimers. I'm pretty sure the guy that asked me on will not be inviting me again for another rendevous.

Best place to pick up guys in the lowcountry: The Ice Palace

2009-06-02T12:39:00.001-07:00

I think the title gives it away, but I've concluded that the best place to get some shoutouts and holla's is none other than the N. Charleston Carolina Ice Palace!

Now will these guys have some creeper tendencies? Probably so!

Is there a chance that they will miraculously need to break in the rink until you miraculously skate by? Probably so!

Will this happen about 1000 times while you're there? Probably so!

Will there be attractive but creepy friends peering from the table outside at you when they think you're not looking? Probably so!

Will you get whistles, hollas, and flirty conversation start ups, that despite your clear conveyance of "I'm not interested!" refuses to stop? Probably so!

Will they ask for you phone number? Probably so!

But despite all of these FABULOUS opportunities, will lovely ladies meet the man of their dreams? Probably not! :(

2009-02-22T11:02:00.000-08:00

For those that my not be familiar with the song I'll give you a taste of the chorus...it's by Derek Webb:
and i am like a mockingbird
i’ve got no new song to sing
and i am like an amplifier
i just tell you what i’ve heard
oh, i’m like a mockingbird

After hearing that song today all i could think was "GOOD GRAVY! He's singing about me!"

I've been fortunate enough to have an amazing family and awesome parents that love Jesus and showed that to me. But as a result of growing up in a Christian family and in the church, I've learned all the ways to pretend to be godly and speak "Jesus lingo" without actually having a legitamate heart to heart. My conversations with God consist of the same things, half of which are things I've picked up by listening to other believers. My words are far from my own, and prayers are far from intimate conversation...rather a one-sided regurgitation of something shallow that I picked up on from somebody that is seemingly wiser than myself.

And now all I can think of is what garbage that is. Who cares if I can speak church talk and the "holy lingo." It's not real. In fact, the conversations I find myself having with God as of late are far from real...they're as fake as you can get. And what joy it brings me to realize how much God values a real conversation, with real issues, and no more pretending to holier than I am. It's so freeing.

Then on another note, I started thinking about my "testimony." It amazes me how as Christians so often we find ourselves sharing our testimony as an event that happened when we were ten years old and that's it. If that's the only thing God's been doing in our life then what kind of relationship is that?? We're a work in progress...and our story is continually being written. Yet I can't help but think that most of the song that I find myself singing is an old song...it's far from recent, which disgusts me.

He's half black and half white, he even fist bumps with his wife.

2009-01-26T18:55:00.000-08:00

Love him or hate him...he's our president. AND there's a guy out there that does hilarious impersonations that I think everyone can enjoy.

Here's just a sample:
Whatever You Like (Obama Raps)

Kinkle Mania

2009-01-22T21:19:00.000-08:00

So my lovely roommate Kit and dear friend Nathan have recently announced their engagement. I couldn't have been happier for them! Actually I could have...I would have been happier if my slack behind had of been at the place of their engagement along with other dear friends rather than moping in my single sorrow back here.

But news of their engagement sent me into a whirlwind of thoughts and issues to deal with:

1. WOW! I'm getting freakin' old. By this time, my dad already had a kid, and now my roommate is engaged. Pretty soon, it will be wedding mania, and pretty soon after that I'll need a hip replacement and have one of those awesome walkers that converts into a seat. (I hear its all the rave at the nursing home. Big Daddy had to get one as soon as he moved to assisted living...apparently he felt behind the times with his normal single purpose walker.)

2. Kit's engaged...meaning that could be me fairly soon (assuming I find a boyfriend, and that he happens to be the love of my life). And so the thought of engagement leads me to the thought of the wedding which leads me to the thought of the honeymoon. And when I thought about the honeymoon, all I could think is, "Wow, what if when I'm on my honeymoon my parents say 'so Kelly's having sex right now'" and then I just felt awkward.

3. If Kit is engaged, then one day she'll probably have a baby. After watching "The Miracle of Life" which showed the graphic details of childbirth I was left with nightmares for the rest of the night thinking about the sight of well...I won't go into any more details.

4. Then of course, as Kit gets engaged, being her friend from early age and roommate, I immediately wondered if I would make into the category of "bridesmaids." I had this moment of hope that I would and glimmer of fear that I would fall into the "I love you but you just don't have the chutzpah (pronounced hootspa) to make it as a bridesmaid so I give you the reject position of guestbook attendant or program hander outer" category. This of course put me into a moment of one of my absurd and short-lived anxiety moments...until of course I yelled at myself to pull it together and smile!

5. After the dilemma faced in point four, I panicked about the bridesmaid dress that I may have to wear. What if Kit picks out something really ugly to intentionally make me unappealing to single male spectators??? While I decided that Kit clearly could not be that vindictive, I decided that if she did, she would be forced to sport the very same dress in my wedding, while other bridesmaids looked hot and sexy.

So as absurd as these dilemmas and thoughts may seem, heck yes, the really did go through my mind. I wish that it was some deep contemplation of love and all that is good, but rather it was shallow, meaningless, and absurd thoughts that plagued my mind for the remainder of the night.

And now for the more important point of this post:

CONGRATULATIONS KIT AND NATHAN!

JUNE 19th, 2010...the panties are coming off! :-D

Cesar

2008-10-29T18:24:00.000-07:00

I love Sonny to death, don't get me wrong. He's amazing and I'm grateful for him! At the same time, he's insane. He's ridiculously hyper and basically attacks people when he tries to greet them because he gets so excited. Apparently none of my training methods have worked thus far so I'm starting fresh.

Cesar Millan is hopefully about to rock my world. I'm now going into "Cesar mode" as I implement the strategies of the dog whisperer. The only problem...I don't understand his strategies.

I'm supposed to be PACK LEADER. Yikes...I just don't think I'm the pack leader type.

In addition, I have to exert calm assertive energy. I can't figure out exactly what this entails. Does this mean no more random bursts of dancing throughout the apartment? Can I no longer randomly sing at the top of my longs, because its not calm? What about the times when I decide to just do something ridiculously absurd? No more suprise karate attacks? I'm just worried that Cesar's techniques are to much for me to handle. Alas, I will try anyways.

Eyes Wide Open!

2008-10-20T12:22:00.000-07:00

The past 6 months (wow has it been that long?) haven't been the easiest for me. To most that may seem pathetic, but I'm ok with being pathetic. I went through much of the summer looking forward to the moments where my eyes were closed, and dreading those where they were open. I found myself really pleading with God and trying my hardest to figure him out. I just didn't get his plan, I didn't understand how he let pain like that happen. I remember asking God straight up one day, "GOD! Seriously, are you on crack these days? Surely you're high and not coherent! There's no way you're in your right mind letting this kinda stuff go down, and leaving me hanging on how it's gonna work out!"

I tried my best to hang on to his promises during this time. Assuring myself that God has a plan for my life and that he is faithful. I can remember reading the book of Job, because in my one track little mind, I felt like I best understood him. I had lost one thing, but somehow felt like I had lost everything. I clung to Job 42:2...convincing myself to trust God's plans.

So this past 6 months has been a huge mark in my life, and perhaps a bit of a bipolar one as well. I went from being a "happy" person that always had an extra bounce in her step in April to a closet emo kid. I found myself questioning so many things in life, feeling more helpless and hopeless than ever. I got to a point where I looked forward to sleep and dreaded waking back up. Seriously...I felt low.

But here's the cool part. Something amazing has been going on in my life lately. My broken heart is being healed and mended. I'm finding joy restored and understanding and seeing that God really does know what he's doing (go figure).

But that's not where it ends for me. God has showed me something else. In addition to literally desiring to go through life without having to open my eyes, I realized that in a lot of ways, that's what I was doing "in the spiritual sense" (heck yes I'm making cheesy metaphors and trying to make spiritual application). When I looked at the world around me, I saw pain, I saw suffering. The world is a dark place. And when I approached the world, that's all I could see. It was depressing. So I looked away. I closed my eyes. I pretended like I couldn't see all the brokenness that we're living in. I tried to go through life with my eyes closed. It seemed easier than dealing with reality.

Fortunately, God called me out on that one He showed me that I didn't have to go through life that way. He showed me that yes, there's brokenness, but without the brokenness I wouldn't be able to understand his grace. He reminded me that I was once one of those people living in the dark...but instead of turning their head, somebody saw me as one that can be redeemed and they shared Christ with me. God's opening my eyes now, so that my heart breaks for the broken-hearted and the lost. He's opening my eyes to reveal to me the urgency of the Gospel. And he's opening my eyes so that I can see the beauty around me that I've been missing, the beauty of creation, of his people, of his love.

And guess what else? That bounce in my step...it's back.

Supersoak that hoe!

2008-09-06T18:59:00.000-07:00

So it was sometime during the summer when I received an absolutely brilliant idea. I was in one of those mischievous, "I want to do random shenanigans" type moods, and the song "Crank That" (Soulja Boy) came on. And like most middle-class white girls, I had the strong urge to "get crunk," although it only caused me to look more like a complete idiot. Since it quickly became apparent that I could not enjoy that song through dance, I though of alternative methods of celebrating the Soulja Boy song. That would be when my brilliant idea hit me. And ever since then, it has only been culminating.

So here's the idea:
Find a vehicle with a sunroof and pack it full of people, all of who will be equipped with waterguns. Then we will ride through downtown Clemson on either a Thursday night, weekend, or, Halloween. Soulja Boy will of course be blaring through the car and as he sings "Supersoak that hoe!" we will literally supersoak some hoes with our waterguns.

Now I just need people to make it happen. Any takers???

addicted

2008-06-24T14:46:00.000-07:00

I've always liked coffee, and coffee-type drinks. However, 12 hour shifts have now brought out a new side of me. I think I am becoming what is now called an addict.

I require at least 2-3 cups of coffee a day now, along with a dirty chai. The days where I get this are great. The days where this need is not fulfilled, I find myself going through withdrawals and meditating on when I am going to get my next coffee fix. My finances are starting to see the effects of this addiction as well, yet I just can't stop myself. I've thought about slowly cutting back, but then shutter at the idea. I'm not prepared to go through coffee detox just yet. Although I am now beginning to empathize for those that go through withdrawals of more severe addictions. I can hardly handle going without my coffee fix. I think I'd really be pitiful if it were a bit more severe... say coke?

yeah...I don't do drunk

2008-06-19T06:49:00.001-07:00

The other day I was reminded again of exactly why I choose to not get drunk.

I was working (of course, everything happens at work) and we had a patient come in with a laceration on the arm. He had cut it on a window or falling or something like that, we weren't exactly sure...he was Mexican. Then EMS called with another laceration patient who had been "assaulted." Well turns out the first guy that came in supposedly assaulted the second guy and stole his tv. So the EMS patient pushed the other guy through the window and they both got scraped up. Whether all of this happened, I don't know. Both guys were drunk and wreaked of alcohol.

But here is why I think I'll refrain from getting drunk. Because when people are drunk they tend to say things you normally wouldn't say to a person. I was instructed to clean the wound and set up a lac tray for the doctor before he came in to give stitches. Below is my memories attempt to recreate the conversation that took place between us during this time.

Mr. EMS: (with slurred words) Sooo...you gonna stitch me up.
me: No sir. The doctor's gonna do that. I'm just gonna get you all cleaned up before he comes in here.
Mr. EMS: but I want YOU to to do it (points at me), don't let him do it. You do it.
me: Well, I don't exactly know how to do that. The doctor knows what he's doing. Trust me, you want him to do it.
Mr. EMS: Well will you at least hold my hand??? Please hold my hand.
me: We'll see. (I didn't btw)
Mr. EMS: I've got 87 tattoos.
me: Really??? Which one is your favorite?
Mr.EMS: (smiles) Wanna see it? (Goes for his belt) It's below the belt. (smiles and chuckles)
me: Umm....no thanks!
Mr. EMS: You sure?
me: I'll pass (rushed out of the room for fear of getting a strip tease)

...He told the xray tech that he had a super penis tattoo. (graphic I know, but I'm just being honest) Then said "It's short, shriveled, and leans to the left."

And that is why I choose not to get drunk! No one should ever know that!

Medication

2008-06-11T19:35:00.001-07:00

I worked my first night shift Monday. It was mostly the same, but a little different. My worst fear has been getting an EMS call that says "full arrest." Well that happened. We're told if we get a full arrest call, especially in an elderly woman, to go ahead and get the body bag and put it on the bed and then put the sheet on top of it. So we did just that.

EMS arrived and it felt weird. They moved her on to the bed quickly, her gown was already cut for compressions. Another girl began bagging and I was about to do compressions. Then I heard the call. The doctor announced the time of death. It was chilling. I've never touched a dead person before, and certainly never been around when they were declared. And here I was doing both. I was moving her body, getting her ready to be seen by the family and then sent off.

I know she was 80 years old. But I still wanted to cry. I tried my best not to, and cried for her later when I was alone. She was scheduled for a stress test later that afternoon. I can't help but think if that test had of been the day before, she'd still be here. Because at least then when she went into full arrest, she could have immediately received the attention necessary. The stress test came about 12 hours too early though, while she was at home. And she failed.

I couldn't help but think of her soul. I pray to God she knew the love of Christ. I like to believe that all elderly people have a relationship with Christ, but I know that is far from true. I still hope with everything I have that she knew. I'd gladly do anything to change it so people that didn't know Christ wouldn't have to die yet. I just keep telling myself she's kicking it with Jesus right now...and that she's feeling youthful and lively again. Facing the reality that she may not be there is just too much for me to handle right now.

Everyday we see people come in, wanting to feel better physically. The doctors give them medicine and we try our best to fix them up. A lot of times we do just that, but it's only physical. There's so much more that needs fixing, that 's not getting fixed. We need Christ. He can heal our emotional wounds, even physical, and fix us up spiritually. If things work out, I'll be devoting my life to helping fix people up physically. But I wonder how much time I spend working on people's spiritual pain. There will come a time when we'll all die, just like the 80 year old lady. Some of us will live longer, some much shorter. I don't want people to go through life in physical agony, but more than that, I don't want the spiritual agony. What good is it to prolong someone's physical death, but do nothing about their eternal death? I wonder what would happen if I spent as much time prescribing Christ as I do(or will do) trying to fix people up temporarily.

It reminded me a little of Derek Webb's song "Medication"

‘cause the truth is i need you just like the air i breathe
just like a freight train needs the tracks beneath
so i’d rather suffer my whole life and be this rich man’s wife
if loving you means suffering

but i don’t want medication
just give me liberation

Life Lesson Learned via Sonny

2008-06-11T19:30:00.000-07:00

Being a new mom has been quite the experience. Sonny has the most severe ADHD I’ve ever seen in my life. I understand he’ll grow out of it, but boy is it severe! Sometimes it’s really cute. You never know what he’ll do next or what he’ll get himself into. On the other hand, it’s really frustrating sometimes when trying to teach him or keep him under control. We’re working on obedience training stuff right now. When I have treats, of course his attention is on me. But if I don’t, it takes nothing for me to completely loose his attention. Sometimes it’s something simple like the grill or a feather in the yard. I needed Sonny to use the bathroom, which he normally does without a problem, but there was a grill sitting near the steps. It completely distracted Sonny and he refused to go. All he wanted to do was stare at it scared and occasionally bark. (He did the same with a feather…my dog is not brave.) Then there are other things too. If he sees a stick, he forgets what he should be doing and just starts playing with it. Yes it’s entertaining to watch, but at the same time it’s frustrating. He’s not remotely focused on the goal at hand.

But here’s what I’m learning. As silly as it sounds, I find myself acting a lot like that. I get so easily distracted all the time that I forget the real purpose. When I’m in church, on a mission trip, or at some kind of “Jesus loving function,” it’s like there’s a treat being waved right in front of my face. I go at things full force and fully focused. But in everyday life, I find myself acting just like Sonny. Every little thing distracts me from what life’s really about. Lately it’s been a combination of things. It’s been facebook and John and Kate plus 8. It’s been work. It’s been class. It’s been relationship issues. It’s all kinds of things I see. Some of those things are like the grill and the feather. They scare me, they shake me up, and I just don’t quite understand them. I get unfocused because I’m so puzzled by it and worried about them, that I forget everything will still be ok. Other things are innocent and fun, and normally good, but they take my eye off the goal nonetheless. Perhaps this is a stretch, or a cheesy analogy. But it’s something I’m noticing.

McDreamy Update

2008-05-30T09:37:00.000-07:00

Sadly, it seems my McDreamy fantasy will not work out.

So far, all of the doctors are
a. married
or
b. single for a reason

Therefore the McDreamy update is as follows: He does not exist at Roper Northwoods ER....only at the Seattle Grace Hospital.

Ban School Uniforms...they mess with your mind

2008-05-23T06:31:00.001-07:00

I've decided that pre-puberty schools should NOT be allowed to have school uniforms. Now a days, males sometimes have hair longer than at the ears making them appear to be a female. Additionally, females have they're hair chopped off half the time making them appear to be male.

And since we're talking pre-puberty, females have no breasts to give it away that "Hey, I'm a girl."
And the boys haven't hit that voice change so half the time when they open their mouth, they sound just like a girl would.

If this is the case, how then am I suppposed to tell apart the girls from the guys? By what they wear...meaning no school uniforms. Can you imagine how scaring it is to be a guy that is referred to as a girl or vice-versa. Pretty sad.

A recent example of this comes to mind. I was at work when a [fe]male came in with a gash on its head needing stitches. This individual had braided hair down to a little above shoulder length. However, the style of the braids seemed a little unisex. The individual was only 7 years old, so of course it had no boobies and its voice was clearly female or male. In addition the individual was wearing a school uniform. The whole time the patient was there, I referred to HER as a HIM! I kinda was getting the vibe the little girl didn't like me very much, and I finally realize why. It wasn't until the girl was laying on the table screaming "I'm about to pee up" (go to the bathroom) while getting stitches that I heard both the PA and the mother refer to this HIM as a HER. So here I am, pinning this little girl that I'd been calling a boy to a table so she could get stitches. Man, did I feel bad.

Its for this reason that pre-puberty schools should be forbidden to have uniforms. In fact, they should require children to wear sex distinguishing clothes. Like boys were superhero clothes and girls wear dresses and flowery stuff.

Boobies!

2008-05-21T14:50:00.000-07:00

I had my first day in the ER Tuesday. Along with that came my first "intentional" look at another female's breast. (Boys, I know you're jealous.) I had the pleasure of running a ECG on one of our lovely female patients. This procedure requires you to go topless, but you can have a gown to still stay covered. Not this lady though! This lady was PROUD of her goodies. I walked in and there she is lying in her gown with her chest completely exposed, rather than covered up. Nothing like a BIG, black booby staring you down as you walk into a room.

Guys I know you're excited still, but it gets better. I then have the pleasure of placing the leads in several locations under her breast. But because of the size of this breast, I had to lift it up in order to place the leads in their proper locations. That's right folks! I'm touching overweight, middle-aged boobies in the ED!

So yeah...that was my booby experience. I seriously have no earthly idea why any male would find that part of the anatomy fascinating.

You might be an alcoholic when...

2008-05-20T13:52:00.000-07:00

So today around 6:30 am I was driving on highway 52 headed to work. This maniac mid-1990s (just a guesstimate) Chevy truck was zooming by. As everyone else was decellerating towards the stoplight it was accelerating. The truck then cuts me off.

So I'm sitting at the redlight behind Mr. Chevy when I notice on the tail of his truck is an Anheizer Bush can. Seriously??? It was 6:30 in the morning and this joker had a beer can on the back of his truck.

At this point, you may be thinking that the can was from the night before. Surely he hadn't already had a beer before the sun had risen fully. Well, I thought that too UNTIL I witnessed him reach into a cooler inside his truck and pull out another beer. Yes, drinking and driving! I pulled up beside his truck to get a better view to make sure it was in fact alcohol...it was.

So you might be an alcoholic IF it's not even 7 am and you're driving around with two beers under your belt.

My very own McDreamy!

2008-05-18T09:47:00.000-07:00

Tuesday marks my first official workday in the ER where I’ll be working for the summer. Up to this point, I’ve been training and going through hospital orientation and whatnot. But this week, I finally get to interact with patients and meet the doctors and nurses I’ll be working with.

Now that I’m technically “on the market,” I can’t help but hope that I’ll meet my own McDreamy or McSteamy while I’m there. I’m secretly hoping that there will be a single, young doctor with a great sense of humor, a heart for the Lord, who just happens to hit it off with me. That would be great.

I’ve even been thinking of the ways in which we’ll fall in love. Perhaps he’ll realize my awesomeness when he sees the way I delicately remove catheters from patients. Or maybe he’ll mysteriously go into cardiac arrest, and he’ll fall in love with me after saving his life with my newfound CPR skills.

I’ve even devised a cheesy pickup line for him to use after this epiphany takes place.

McDreamy: How are you feeling?

Me: I’m ok.

McDreamy: (with a concerned look takes stethoscope and puts to my heart) hmm…maybe you should listen to your heart and go out with me?

Cheesy perhaps. But who knows, it could happen.

Updates on potential McDreamy candidates will follow later.

...I left off one!

2008-05-17T14:59:00.000-07:00

7. Let's go see the Havenots! It's great improv comedy and makes me laugh till my tummy hurts every time! We should check it.

Come to the Corner!

2008-05-17T14:47:00.001-07:00

Although I live a fairly boring life, I've still managed to come up with a list of things to do upon your next visit to the lowcountry...more particularly, the corner!

1. Get some awesome food! For those of you near the area or that have been here before, your first thought may be Barony House or Howard's. However, you should make the country corner a must upon your next or first visit here! They have the best hot dogs hands-down (well...only if you like chili), and they're dirt cheap.

2. Meet Sonny. He is a handsome little fella that would absolutely love to be your new best friend! And he is the current new man in my life, and I think all will fall in love when they meet him!

3. Injure yourself at Northwoods Mall so you can see me at the ER! Just be cautious about this, since I only work certain days and certain times. Plan your injury accordingly.

4. Check out this sketchily located restaurant I stumbled upon downtown. Yes it happens to be near the heart of the ghetto, but that doesn't mean at can't be potentially tasty! That also does not mean you will get cut or shot if we go. However, I do feel safety precautions need to be taken, which is why I will only go in groups of three or more (unless a male is present).

5. Hit up the water! It's summertime, which means it's time to jump in! The pool is ready! The ocean feels great! The lake water is finally back up! And the river is gorgeous! So you take your pick. Personally, I'm game for some wakeboarding!

6. Spend June 20th with me doing all kinds of fun stuff! (Just be gone by the 21st due to familial weddings)

I'm coming out!

2008-05-17T14:41:00.000-07:00

I've decided to finally make my entrance into the world of blogging! Perhaps its not as trendy or up to date as joining the twittering world, but you've got to start somewhere. Sadly, my life is fairly boring and I'm not filled with bits of insight and profound words...which is why I am more of a science person! Nonetheless, I've still decided to finally make my grand entrance into the blog world.